Blemished Inception

Blemished Inception:

Another flawed genesis

Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not, and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.

     -Unknown

     We aren't perfect. Kind of a funny way to start a new blog, but it is true. I am not asking you to excuse my imperfections and my mistakes, but instead to see that we are all imperfect, and that we are all just a fraction of what we can become. 

     A few months ago, I was diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder as well as Severe Anxiety, and it came to me as a shock. I thought I was happy enough, and my doubts and sadness I thought was merely a normal experience, and yet I always knew it was a little deeper, it hurt me a little more, than it should have. Great, so I have this problem, and I need to learn how to cope with it, and to be able to still lead a happy, hopeful and successful life and hopefully one day raise a family. So, I started by posting a couple other posts on my first blog, Immortal Combat: Fighting the Natural Man, but it was too narrow of a field for me to roam in, my thoughts had to be confined to the thoughts of me conquering myself, which is to say the least, tiring and boring at times. So I made a new blog, one that will truly become a journal and a record of my thoughts and my feelings, a way for me to explain myself and to examine myself closely so that I can become the best human being I am capable of. Why is this public? Because I would like to maybe help others in my journey too, to have them avoid some of the pitfalls I have fallen into, and to be able to learn from me.

     I have for a long time thought about how on earth I will be able to do this. How can I explain the intricate and fragile substance of my soul, and have other people understand it? I can write decently enough, but not well enough to tackle such a grand and ambitious idea. No, I needed something more pure than written language, something more intricate and soul speaking that words, I needed art. For a long time I did not give art the credit that it deserves. Art is a Godly pursuance, it seeks to explain and feel what we cannot explain and make others feel. It can be interpreted in many different ways, yes, but in the end it is a very piece of the artist's soul, and it represents something that all of us can connect to, at one point in our lives or another. Art is not merely a canvas with abstract paint spatters on it, nor is it confided to Baroque and other classical compositions, but is literally a diverse range of human activities and the product of those activities. Cars, such as the pointy and angular Lamborghini Aventador is certainly a beautiful form of art, from its sharp angles to its burbling blast of V12 magic. A Thompson M1928 sub machine gun is art, with its very opposing and sinister look of the ribbed barrel and the connected Cutts compensator, combined with the huge bulky 50 round magazine drum, it is a very interactive (and dangerous) work of art. Hard rock, hip hop, and even rap (despite many arguments) are certainly art, in fact I know of no other art that speaks to me as music does, this blog will use plenty of playlists to demonstrate my feelings. The point I am trying to make is, is that art describes what I cannot, and so I will use it to give a much deeper connection to me and how I feel. 

     Going back to my very first statement, that "We aren't perfect." I am saying this because we all too often judge based upon how we interpret the information we are given. We judge based upon our morals and our judgement, whether or not they are truly sound or right. We call this bigotry sometimes, as well as ignorance and biased opinions, a lot of names. Funny enough though, we are ALL guilty of this. We are all hypocrites in this sense. A little depressing to think about, but totally true. I am not saying this to point fingers at one another, but instead for you to understand that me and my interpretations may not be what you think and believe, and that is totally ok. Variety is the spice of life, huh? And that is why no two human beings are the exact same. This blog is not an art critic blog, but rather a journal that uses art to better express my thoughts and feelings. Not every post will have a painting, song, poem, or other stuff. But ever post will have a couple things in common: 1. They are all my thoughts and feelings, and 2. They will all hold a sacred and reverent love for my Creator, as well as His Son, my Savior.
     The connections between every post will have my sole and beautiful testimony (whether expressed literally or symbolically or deeper) of our Heavenly Father and His plan for us, His children. I do believe in God, and I am not ashamed of it either. Honestly He is the creator of all of this art, in one way or another. I cannot do anything without Him. I admit it, and I am in fact declaring that every day! I will not preach to you, I will not push you or pressure you or guilt trip you at all to my religion and my beliefs, but I will talk of it, and if any of you have any questions, I will freely answer them.
     So there it is, my imperfect beginning, my totally flawed genesis for another blog with another idea and another plan to achieve said idea. Well, get on with it then!