I was recently struck by a converted member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, who when I asked his story, said after he converted he got bone cancer, most of his family left him, and his fiancee broke up with him, oh, and he lost his job too. He said he knew that what he was doing was bringing him closer to God, but he had no idea that it would also really rock his world, as if giving up the things he did wasn't quite enough for Heavenly Father.
The interesting bit is how he talks about those past times. Surrounded by his kid and wife in his house after returning from his favorite job ever, he looks back rather introspective and happy. "I knew that though my world was upside down, that this road I signed up was not easy, but that is was worth it."
LDS missionaries and culture like a little saying we pass around. It is Jesus Christ saying to us "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." Almost word for word. Sometimes we take that to what we voluntarily give up, like Television and home and girlfriends, but I think we have a bigger problem facing the trials and problems that where not anticipated nor part of what we thought we signed up for. Those are the real sacrifices though, for me it was MDD, or Major Depressive Disorder. The last thing I thought I needed was a mental problem, something that would further deteriorate my battered reputation and reliability. I wanted to give up. It would have been easier to give up in the short run, but I see now, just as that sweet convert sees, that it is for our eternal benefit that we go through immensely trying hardships.
My mother was abused by her drunk father. He would beat her and yell at her, and all sorts of incredibly sad and gut wrenching things to my mother. I can't imagine the scarring pain and feelings that she goes through, and I see some of the effects of it. She did not sign up for that one bit, and yet she talks of her father, my grandfather, quite fondly sometimes. I do not know if she has or even can fully forgive him, but I know she is working hard on it, and that she tells good stories of him more often than anything else. She has been such a wonderful example to me of what painful experiences don't have to make us suffer. She is a happy and loving mother of three children who are out and about with ambitions and work (more so the other two...)
I have had friends tell me they too where abused, or where too poor to afford milk, or had mental illnesses. All of these people have had great pain, and like me, have been tempted to quit and give up and to run away. I know that the pain is so confusing and penetrates so much of us. I do not mean to focus on the negative, but it is important to address. When I was not happy, pretending to be happy only made things worse. We need to address these problems within ourselves, and take the steps to become ok with who we are and what we are going through. I am not saying that we must take ourselves out of our situation, that may not be possible, but I am saying that we need to release our negative and sad feelings and replace them with hope.
Doctrine and Covenants section 50 verses 23 and 24 say an interesting thing about this: "That which is of God is light; and he that recieveth light and continueth in God, recieveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day. And again, verily I say unto you, and I say it that you may know the truth, that you may chase darkness from among you."
Well, at first it seems a little vague, but take a closer look. Often when we are going through hard times we are surrounded by darkness. We can't see why, how, and sometimes even what happened. Confusion and panic reign without competition unless we let light in. Science says that darkness cannot exist with light. Only in the absence of light can darkness reign. When we take our trubles to light, and we accept that we need help, then we are starting to get back on the road to being happy. For different situations this means different things. For some, bringing it to 'light' means merely accepting the fact that they are unhappy, no other actions are necessary. For others, it may mean turning to a friend or two, or getting counseling. There is one constant though, and this is the true key to really getting better: if we take our troubles to God then we will heal.
Confessions of a healing heart
To employ and to feel
My faith is to find
My love is to seal
I must play my divine part
Because to fear is to hide
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